Real names vs. nicknames

Oi, there has been debate going on about that? Ack. Well, this is just my opinion but... I don't care if someone submits and alias. I understand if someone wishes to keep their name private. It doesn't bother me. I do, however, want my member list to look half decent, as I stated in the poll. For example, some people may not be able to see symbols or other characters. Or if a nickname is too long, it may throw off the alignment of the layout-- this, as a webmaster, bothers me. I have not had any problems with people submitting ridiculous aliases, so I suppose implementing this new rule would not really affect me. Like I said, most webmasters wish to keep all their pages looking at least decent, and I think most of us have enough sense to alter the name without really "changing" it. I am quite sure, as well, that the member is not going to throw a hissyfit over a slight change. Or perhaps I am wrong; maybe that is even how the whole argument started. Heh. Anyway, /end opinion.

Is this why there is this poll? Layout doesn't bother me. If someone wants to submit an online nick, I'm all ok with it. Regardless of what it is. Reason:

I use an online nick in everything I do online because I don't want anyone in real life to know what I do online. Not that I do porn or anything. It's just everyone offline thinks I don't even know how to use a computer and I'd like it to stay that way.

I know a lot of members on one of my fanlistings are fanfic writers or fanartists and they prefer onine nicks because that is what they are known as and when someone scopes a fanlist and sees that nick, they know that person from that fandom. They also prefer the anonymity for many reasons. I can completely understand that as that is another reason I use my online nick. I've had people AIM me to say "gee...I didn't know you liked so and so because I saw your nick on a fanlist."

It's just everyone offline thinks I don't even know how to use a computer and I'd like it to stay that way.

You made Cyn and I both laugh at that one ; ) I don't think we could hide our addiction to the internet, but some days it seems like a good idea!

You hit on the very reason I use my online nickname instead of my real name. Who in the world would recognize one of the top ten most common names in America as me, when everywhere else on the internet I'm known as something else? I haven't really had anybody be like "Hey, I didn't know you liked this!" yet, but I wouldn't doubt that it does happen, and sometimes I'm surprised to see my sister Shoka on lists that I didn't know she had already joined, or Cyn my partner in crime.

The whole anonyminity thing is actually barely part of it for me, since I have my name and address posted on my business website (both of them) and anybody that wanted to could find them by jumping links for just a few minutes. But that's my legal name I'm using for a business purpose, and honestly, as it's so common, I just don't like it all that much. Besides the fact that my PARENTS don't even call me by my real name, they have about a dozen nicknames for me that come from my middle name, which is just as common as my first name. My friends, in real life, call me Meiran. Cyn refers to me as Cer on a regular basis, so to me it is a real name if that makes sense.

I've GOT to stop talking so much!

You made Cyn and I both laugh at that one ; ) I don't think we could hide our addiction to the internet, but some days it seems like a good idea!

*laugh* I wouldn't have to, but one time I told someone that I liked fooling around on photoshop and he told my boss who assigned me to design the company website for free and all on my own volunteer time. Because I only do this as a hobby and anything business like takes the fun out of it, I lied and said I didn't know how to use a computer and that I used photoshop to use the pre-made template greeting cards. Otherwise, I'm online 24/7. haha!!

Well, I've used my online nick for about 10 years now and basically everyone in my fandom knows me by this nick. I've taken this nick to other fandoms, never changing it and I've had people who visit my fansite AIM me to say "I've seen your nick on a fanlist I just joined" or "I saw you nick on some fic/art piece. Is that yours?" and it's a great little conversation starting piece for people who are wary of IMing me for the first time. I actually feel strange seeing my real name online. I, once, almost signed my cheque with my online nick. *laugh* And I'm telling you. I'm not the only one because some of my online friends have, too. It's just a complete part of my online existence.

I have an online nick name that I use as well. However, it's an actual name someone would name their child, not something that looks like an AIM name.

You would be surprised what people submit as their names sometimes for those of you that have never had the problem. Take my Johnny Rotten fanlisting for example. Someone joined with the name "SiD ViCiOuS BaBeE DaWl FoReVeR". Now what am I supposed to do about that?! lol. I think if a fanlisting asks for a name, the people joining should give a NAME, even if they have to make it up.

I don't know, maybe it's just me but I think it should be okay for webmasters to want a list of fan names and not scribble. :)

I completely agree.

I use a nickname that an online friend gave me like two years ago after having used my real name, which is ALWAYS misspelled wrong by others or I get asked about what it means, blah blah blah. But it's a regular name as well, just a nickname, not some hideous screename in make-believe. lol

As long as it's a NAME, I don't care. Nothing like babygirl39330.

My question is, who gets to decide what's a NAME? When this topic came up, several people on the mailing list said CeruleanSun wasn't a NAME, so they wouldn't list it. But it's what I've been going by online for about six years now, Meiran being only a more recent nick that I don't use as I said in another comment, because it's a "fandom" nickname, not an original one.

I have somebody on a few of my FLs that goes by Morbid Romantic. That's what she calls herself on her site, on all the FLs she's joined, and I think it's a fine online nick. But is it a name? Who gets to decide? There seems to be a wide range of definitions.

Not trying to sound all attacky, which I seem to be doing, it's just a general question I have for this topic. I tend to use an online nick because my name is so hideously common that nobody would ever know who the heck I was if I used it.

I know Morbid Romantic. Well, not personally, but online. That's the name she's been known as for as long as I can remember.

I've recently had to change my rules, because I used to require a real-sounding name on the application.

It bothers me that people would read (or not read) the rules, but submit something else anyway. I understand the need for privacy, but I don't think that asking for something that at least *sounds* like a real name is too much to ask for. When I had that rule up, but people submitted things like "Baybeeblueskiez200000003" anyway, it really made me think that they either didn't read the rules, or they have no respect for them. And frankly, I don't want to be forced to devote my time to update my site for someone who doesn't respect the rules. How hard is it to just make something up like "Amy"? Blah.

Another issue that this brings up...if we're forced to accept all names on applications, what happens if someone joins with a name like "i_like_tits"? If the rule does go up, there have to be some kind of parameters on it for this kind of scenario, whether editing out special characters and numbers, or editing the name entirely to read John/Jane Doe or similar.

If the rule does wind up being imposed, I'd be a little cheezed about it, not because of list appearance necesarilly, but because you have no idea how alien it feels to me to write an email to someone where you have to address them as dragonslayer1985, because you have no other alias to call them :P

I can totally understand getting mad because people didn't read the rules. All the FLs I've applied for recently that I've seen the "real sounding name" or "real name" rule on, if they've had a comment field, I've put that I'm using an online nickname, it's what I go by, and if they have a problem to email me and we'll chat.

It isn't fair to FL owners that so many people don't read the rules (direct linking anyone?) but at the same time, I think it's a smidgen unfair to people who have creative nicknames to deny them listing because it doesn't fit somebody's definition of "real sounding."

That's the big reason I list to email me if there's an issue, because I'd be really ticked if I had a button up for a fanlisting, and people were clicking through from my site, and they didn't feel like listing me, or telling me that they didn't. I don't care to be confirmed every time I'm listed, but if I'm denied I want to know and I want to know why. I think a lot of people with the "real name" rule don't follow that, they just deny the application, which really isn't fair.

See, the thing is, I've got two online nicks already, and they do get a little blurred so I tried to sort them out for specific things. Meiran is LJ, and administering my fanlistings. CeruleanSun is my website, my fanfiction, my regular fiction, and what I join fanlistings with because people are more likely to know it than to know Meiran. It's mostly a personal organization thing, if that makes sense. But because the website I'm listing for all my links, and where I put the codes, is my collective Cerulean Dreame, it seems like I should list the name associated with that, and not a name that isn't associated with any websites at all.

And random question, do you really email people individually that often? I'm just curious because I've only had my fanlistings for *counts* five months or so and on the few occasions where I've emailed people, I've been hitting the reply button so there wasn't any cause to address them as anything. But int he case you mentioned, I would feel silly, and probably put Dragon or Dragonslayer, and leave off the numbers. Usually people just use the numbers because they got them once to get their SN on aim, lj, or something like that, and they just keep them to tell themselves apart. I've never known anybody that cared much if you dropped them...but then again, I don't know too many people who use them.

Bah, I'm throwing firewood on the fire, gomen ne. I'm just sincerly curious about this whole issue, because I'm so steeped in fanfic that I'm used to the strangest names being thrown around all the time.

And random question, do you really email people individually that often?

For confirmation, I do. And occasionally, I will contact members off the list to develop friendships and the like. That's what they're for, right? I made two of my best online friends through my Vivaldi fanlisting :)

I do see your points, though. I'm sure FL owners and staffers can argue about this kind of thing forever. People on both sides of the fence have some really compelling points for and against nickname discrimination. It'll be interesting to see how it pans out. I'm just glad that the discussions I've seen, for the most part, have all been pretty respectful and contemplative :) I'm glad we can all debate this way, for the most part.

This is my rule:

A somewhat real name (babydoll, joker, the dark queen, dracula, etc, I'm sure were not your birth names, and are not somewhat real nicknames).

I'll email and ask for one or search the person's site for one if someone submits something with numbers, underscores, or obviously not real names ... I also don't accept names of characters. I often get 'Arwen' submitted as a name (I run a few LOTR fanlistings) and I've seen fanlistings with many Arwens on the members list ... I don't get it. They don't go by Arwen online, on their sites or anything so why have 14 Arwens and one Jessica listed? But if I find the person actually goes by Arwen online, I'd be happy to list them as such. Same with nicknames that seem to be "real" ... Rain isn't a very popular name for a child but I'm sure there are a few Rains out there ... So I have no problem listing it.

Since I put the above rule on all my fanlistings last year, though, I've only had 1-2 problems with it.

Actually I have a friend named Rain and one named Rainflower, just to point out that they are out there ; )

With the number of "hippies" having children, and how much people want to do something new and different with names (Cheyenne and Dakota are two children I know that I can think of off the top of my head) I almost feel like almost anything can be a name. Most people don't realize that Meiran isn't my real name, because they don't follow the Gundam Wing fandom, so they don't know that's where I got it. And, that being taken from a fandom, that's one of the reasons I use my other online nick, CeruleanSun (which I don't mind if people put Cerulean or Cerulean Sun or Ceruleansun, doesn't bug me, I just type it that way because it's the way I was originally doing it when I started writing fanfic).

I do agree it gets kinda ridiculous for somebody to call themselves Arwen on a LOTR FL, when they don't go by Arwen anywhere else. I just had somebody apply for a Chobits fanlisting as Chii-san, but a quick survey of their site and a few other non-chobits FLs I have that she's joined showed me that she does go by Chii-san across the board. Same with the Harumi and Kira members of my Mars fanlistings, they just happened to get their nick from the fandom that I'm representing with my FL.

You know, a lot of this wasn't in direct comment to what you said, but instead was me babbling in general, I'll hush up now...

Re:

it's okay .. i'm in dire need of randomness

I don't think I have had too many problems with names with my fanlistings, and I think as long as the nickname is sort of realistic (ie. I use Adia instead of my real name) then it is okay. Even Babyface is sort of fine, but when you start getting sTiCky caPS, then it is sort of silly and I go ahead and edit.

I do have a rule that people can use real and nicknames, as long as the latter is not something completely ridiculous. I refuse to believe that anybody really uses an online alias with digits at the end. I run the Orlando Bloom fanlisting amongst others and I got plain sick of all the "OrlandosBabeeee5578" (etc) I was getting.

Mmm, an interesting, worthy and debatable question.

My position mostly centers on the fact that the internet is a somewhat impsonal medium. I accept unusual nicknames because (from personal experience) I can respect the need of a person to protect their identity online.

Generally and speaking of my listings, I don't get too many nicknames. Amusingly I do get many duplicate real name listings, sometimes within days of one another (I've added two Angelas in one day before, and added a Brittany one week, and then another another week, for instance). Two entirely different emails and websites, two entirely different opinions, but the same name nonetheless.

My two cents.

Missy